I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
