There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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