i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
