so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
