I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
