At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
