You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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