I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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