Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
