It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
