My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
