I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
