that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
