it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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