I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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