we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
