what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
