You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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