So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
