I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
