Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
