Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I skipped work to stalk him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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