then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize