i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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