Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
