we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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