Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
