he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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