She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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