I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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