I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
