Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize