You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
God, I missed his penis.
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