i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
