You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
