I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
