He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
