Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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