I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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