Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
