How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
