I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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