The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
