Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
