The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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