yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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