I am puke
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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