Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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