My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
