at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we should paint friendship bongs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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