Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
