doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
