For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize