your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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