it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
