Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Congratulations! We have a period
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
