we're blogging at a bar
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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