She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize