i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just cropdusted the office
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
