well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
